Silan Sillsweep was never what you would have called the brightest of dwarves, but what he lacked in brains he more than made up for in looks. He had a kindly face surrounded by thick, soft, black hair; so black that you were put to mind of the darkest, cloudiest nights when no stars shine and even the moons don’t show their face. He looked out at the world through a pair of deep green eyes almost hidden by thick lashes that many a dwarven lass would have killed for, and he was unfailingly kind and helpful to everybody he met. Unfortunately, Silan was never able to understand that not everybody in this world wished him as much good as he wished them. And so it was that when he met Morath Sapperson, Silan did not turn the other way but instead befriended the young dwarf.

Most knew better than to believe a thing Morath had to say. He was a notorious prankster, shyster and a compulsive liar. Silan had heard all about Morath before, of course, but it never entered his head that he really had anything to fear from Morath. Even his young wife, Kerylyn, couldn’t persuade Silan to tell Morath to leave him alone. The most she was ever able to get him to promise her was to never seek Morath’s company himself. And even then the promise was only secured through the use of copious tears and the withholding of certain husbandly rights. Unfortunately, Kerylyn couldn’t do very much about stopping Morath from seeking out Silan’s company. No amount of tears would move Morath, nor batting of eyelashes or even a good, solid punch to the nose, and Kerylyn had tried all of those. Finally, she was forced to give up, cross her fingers and hope that Morath would eventually get bored with her husband. And so the, somewhat one-sided, friendship of Silan and Morath continued.

One day, while Silan was hard at work sweeping the counter of the bank in Ironforge, Morath crept up behind him, swiped the broom out of Silan’s hand and took off out the bank.

“Morath! Give that back!” Silan yelled. He was forced to chase the prankster all the way out of Ironforge before Morath would give him back the broom. “Morath, I’m glad to see ye, really I am but I’ve got e’en more work to do than yesterday since ye dragged me around looking fer yer lost kitten,” Silan said between gasps for air. “An’ then it turns out ye don’t e’en ‘ave a kitten!”

“Silan, me good and only friend,” Morath sighed melodramatically. “Ye’ve got to work less, lad. All work and no play makes a dwarf a very, very borin’ husband. An’ ye’d no want that ripe plum of a wife of yers to stray to more interesting pastures, now would ye?” Morath’s smirk made it clear exactly whose pastures he’d like Kerylyn to stray to. Fortunately for him, Silan was far too clueless to notice and seemed happy to take his friend’s advice yet again. After all, Morath was so much smarter than he was and knew far more about women.

Silan beamed at the mention of his wife. “Ye know I’ll never know why Kerylyn picked me to marry. I’m sure I don’t deserve a lass like her.” He wandered aimlessly off into the snow, happily babbling to nobody in particular about how wonderful his wife was. Morath rolled his eyes and muttered, “Well, o’course she married ye, ye fool. Ye were the only lad without the sense to jump out the window instead of trying to walk out the front door just as her father came home!” He shook his head. Silan was an idiot but he was a good source of fun, willing to go along with anything Morath suggested. And today, Morath had the best scheme yet, one that would surely end in riches, powerful friends and scores of beautiful women just begging for his attention.

He caught up with Silan and clapped him on the shoulder, jolting the poor young dwarf out of his soliloquy. “Silan, me lad! How would ye like to do something truly adventurous? Brave and heroic e’en? O’course ye would! Follow me, lad!” Morath strode off without waiting for an answer, knowing that Silan would follow him out of habit if nothing else.

Back in her little house in Ironforge, Kerylyn paced worriedly back and forth. It had been hours since Silan had reportedly run out of Ironforge with that no good snake, Morath. Dinner had come and gone, an event never missed by Silan, and there was still no word. She forced herself to sit down and began sewing the final stitches on a new dress, calming a little with the steady rhythm and the thought of how pretty she’d look once it was done. Kerylyn sighed and wished once more that Silan was just a little smarter and a little less trusting. He wasn’t a bad husband really and she did like him well enough, despite his lack of brains. He was always making sure she was happy and had everything she wanted, and really, she told herself, love was just something that gets you in trouble when you’re too young and foolish to know better. Besides, Kerylyn thought wickedly, he didn’t seem to need brains to keep her happy in the bedroom.

Kerylyn was halfway through a naughty little daydream about the huge fight they’d have when Silan finally got home followed by all the fun of making up later, when she heard footsteps downstairs. She jumped up, put her sewing away carefully, checked her hair and makeup, and trounced down the stairs, all ready for fighting and making up.

“Silan! Where have you been? You know how I…” Kerylyn trailed off and froze, her lovely little daydream forgotten. Silan was back alright but covered in blood, clothes ripped to shreds, eyes bright and feverish, grinning manically and holding what appeared to be somebody’s arm. Unsurprisingly, Kerylyn screamed and fainted dead away.

Eventually she regained consciousness to find herself surrounded by friends and her home filled with guards. “What…” her voice cracked unbecomingly and Kerylyn accepted a sip of water and tried again. “What happened?” she whispered.

One of the guards stepped forward. “Ahh Mrs Sillsweep, yer awake. Calm yerself, lass, yer husband seems to be okay. He’s a might shook up still but we’ve had a chat to ‘im and pieced together what happened. Seems his friend, Morath Sapperson, persuaded the lad to go into Gnomeregan with ‘im. I don’t think they were at all prepared for what they found in there. Yer husband was lucky to get home in one piece!”

“The… the arm?” Kerylyn felt faint again just thinking about it.

“Ahh, don’t worry lass. That used to belong to a trogg, well until yer young lad ripped it off him. He’s a strong one he is!” The guard chuckled softly then sobered when he saw the look Kerylyn was giving him. “Err.. right, well he’ll be just fine we think. The priests have patched him right up again and put him to bed to sleep it off. I’m sure he’ll be right as rain in the morning, just keep him at home fer a while, lass.” He smiled at her reassuringly and went back to barking orders at his men.

“Wait,” Kerylyn called to him. “Ye’ve forgotten something. What happened to that no good, lying, son of a…”

“Morath? Yer husband doesn’t know where he is. Apparently he disappeared up a corridor during one of the fights. I suspect he’s dead, lass.”

Kerylyn smiled, her eyes flat and hard. “Good,” she said.
Kerylyn watched Silan bounce out the door and frowned worriedly. Despite the guard’s blithe assurances that her husband would be fine after his adventures in Gnomeregan, it quickly became obvious that something was still badly wrong with him. Oh physically he was just fine, but he was starting to say the strangest things, had taken to running headlong into walls, jumping nearly everywhere and worse. Just yesterday, he’d humiliated Kerylyn by dancing on a table with a nearly nude night elf.

She turned back to her mirror to finish applying her makeup and cringed when she saw the wrinkles her frown was forming. “Damn ye, Morath,” Kerylyn whispered. “This is all yer fault! Ye better be dead or I’ll be huntin’ ye down meself.” Nothing had gone right for the Sillsweeps since the scheming little dwarf had entered their lives. People were still talking about Silan returning from Gnomeregan covered in blood and waving a trogg arm around, and now more fuel had been added to the fire with his latest behaviour. Gallivanting around with a half-dressed night elf lass! And why did he keep saying “lol”? Did it stand for something? Was it something troggs say? Kerylyn caught herself frowning again and sighed. Enough was enough. Thinking about this was only causing wrinkles; a distraction was obviously called for.

One hour later, Kerylyn walked out the Auction House feeling much better. A little bit of window shopping, with a few small purchase thrown in for good measure, had cheered her right up. She hummed a little as she placed her new outfit on the dining room table and decided that this strange behaviour of Silan’s would probably go away on it’s own. He was probably just still shaken up and missing that no-good, rat of a friend. Yes, everything was going to be just…

“Mrs Sillsweep, may I have a word?”

Kerylyn spun around to find a guard behind her. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, smiling warmly at him. “I didn’t hear ye come in, lad. What can I do fer ye?”

The guard didn’t smile back. “I’m afraid ye might need to sit down, lass. There’s been an accident… of a sort.”

“An… an accident? What sort of an accident? Oh, what’s Silan done now? ” Kerylyn wasn’t sure she wanted to know what new scandal Silan was responsible for. Whatever the problem was, the end result was bound to be fresh wrinkles.

“I’m sorry, lass. All the witnesses say it happened so quickly that nobody could stop him, I mean nobody thought he’d be foolish enough to…” The guard trailed off, clearly unsure how to continue.

Kerylyn was struck by a horrible thought. “He didn’t give the King a lap dance did he?”

“What? No, no… nothing like that,” the guard assured her. He took a deep breath and plunged on. “He jumped into the Great Forge, lass. Stripped off all his clothes, took a deep breath and jumped in as if he were going fer a dip in the Loch. I’m afraid there’s nothing left of him. I’m real sorry, Mrs Sillsweep.” The guard stood up, bowed awkwardly and left as quickly as he could, nearly tripping over a chair in the process. He hated getting these jobs. Why did he have to get the short straw this time?

For a long time, Kerylyn just stared at nothing in particular. The world was suddenly changed and she’d never expected it. Silan was gone. She was no longer the wife of the nice enough, certainly handsome, but very strange, local idiot. Poor Silan and his foolish, trusting ways. A few tears escaped to roll down her perfectly made-up face. Angrily, she wiped them away. This was no time to fall apart, she told herself sternly. She’d relied on others to take care of her for too long. This was her chance to prove that she could survive on her own and she’d need a plan for that sooner rather than later. With Silan gone there would be no money coming in and she couldn’t afford the cost of renting a house in Ironforge. Kerylyn shook her head, locked her front door to keep the well-meaning at bay, and sat down to work out a plan.

By the time the sun was rising on the snows of Dun Morogh, Kerylyn was practically surrounded in crumpled up pieces of paper, she was exhausted, and she was certain that no amount of anti-wrinkle cream would fix the damage to her face. However, despite all this she had come up with a plan and by the time she was through she’d be her own woman. Never again would she rely on a man to look after her and make the money. No, she’d go out into the world, explore every inch of it and find as much treasure to keep her rolling in beautiful dresses forever. Of course, as with most good plans, sacrifices would have to be made - at least at first..

Later that morning, Kerylyn was waving goodbye to the clothier and pocketing some shiny new coins. “Thanks lass, I’m sure ye’ll find good homes for them.” She stared longingly one last time at all her beautiful dresses, shoes and accessories, then turned her back and marched out of the shop. “Now then, time to find me some new skills and a job to use them in,” she said to nobody in particular. A few enquiries had told her that the best place for new adventurers to start out was in Coldridge Valley and that hunters were always needed there to keep wolves and boars at bay. And lately there were rumours that trolls were causing problems. In any case, Kerylyn had already decided she’d like to learn how to be a hunter. After all, she’d always liked animals and having a beautiful cat or maybe a wolf at her side wouldn’t hurt her image. Probably not a bear though; they were big, hairy and a little on the dumb side. No sense in being reminded of Silan every time she looked around. She swung her backpack onto her shoulder, took careful note of all her old friends and neighbours pretending not to be curious about what she was doing, and walked as bravely as she could out of Ironforge. She nearly made it to the road leading to Kharanos when a smirking, ugly dwarf blocked her path.

“Where ye going in such a hurry, lass?” he asked, looking her over appreciatively. “Why don’t ye come with me to the inn and we’ll ‘ave a few pints together. What do ye say, sweet lips?”

Kerylyn rolled her eyes. She’d met his type before and right now she had no time for this. “Well, that’s very kind of ye, but I’m very busy. I have to get to…” She paused. “Wait, what did ye call me?”

The ugly dwarf smiled broadly. “Sweet lips, lass. Well, they look sweet enough to me but how about ye come over here and show me just how sweet.” He puckered his lips expectantly.

Kerylyn barely noticed. “Sweetlips! Aye, it’s perfect! I’m a whole new person so why not a new name? After all, if I go around saying me name is Kerylyn Sillsweep then the only work I’ll likely get is, well, sweepin’ sills! An’ yer bloomin’ right, lad. I’d wager these here lips are the sweetest ye’ll find in Dun Morogh.” She smirked at the ugly, little dwarf. “Not that ye’ll ever actually find out. Ye can just take me word for it, there’s a good lad. Now, thank ye very much for helpin’ me with the troublesome problem of me new name, but get out of me way.” She was already well past him by the time she’d finished talking, too entranced with the idea of a new name to hear any of the curses he flung after her.

“Aye, Kerylyn Sweetlips I’ll be from now on,” she sighed happily. “No more boring names fer this lass! Kerylyn Graybeard who became Kerylyn Sillsweep by marriage is gone fer good. A new chance, an’ a new name to go with it.” She tucked a strand of her long, black hair back into place and a speculative look crossed her face. “An’ maybe I should dye me hair blonde too.”* With all the important matters dealt with, the newly re-invented Kerylyn Sweetlips continued determinedly on her way towards wealth, fame, and independence.

* For those who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Kerylyn, her hair is currently very blonde and she’ll vehemently deny any rumours of her hair ever being anything but blonde.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS