This morning I woke bright and early and leapt out of bed, ate a hearty breakfast, strapped my weapon to my back, and headed off towards the majestic Mulgore plains, ready for another exciting day in the life of a druid-in-training.

….

Oh, alright. Fine. You want the truth? My druid trainer kicked me out of bed sometime after midday. I forced some raw fish down my throat, spent about an hour trying to get into my armour and get my staff to sit on my back in a way that wouldn’t get me stuck in doorways, and stumbled outside the inn to commence another riveting day of collecting body parts for sick, twisted and lazy Taurens.

The first thing on my to-do list was to swallow my pride and beg the local chef to teach me to cook. I figured even my pride had to be easier to swallow than this morning’s raw fish!

My powers of persuasion (actually, my powers of bribery) finally won him over and he showed me how to cook wolf meat. I headed straight for the closest cooking fire to try it myself. If that big lump of a Tauren could do it, how hard could it be?

One last thing before I headed out on my next body part mission: I had to learn how to make myself some new leather armour. What I had on was falling to bits and pretty soon I’d be collecting body parts without a stitch on and that just didn’t appeal to me despite how entertaining it’d be for the local male population. After a little bit of practice sewing bits of leather together to patch my pants, I finally got the hang of it and made some new boots.

Finally, I couldn’t delay the inevitable - it was definitely body part collection time. I hadn’t gotten very far out of the village when bells started ringing and I heard cries that the village was under attack. Body parts can wait! This sounded much more exciting! I dashed back to watch the battle.

Unfortunately the body parts would have been more exciting. There’d been no real battle – just some deranged night elf murdering students. No great loss, they were pretty useless anyway. I was just about to go back to my ever so exciting mission when I heard a voice from over near the corpses. Well, this was more like it! I’d never met a ghost before.

The ghost insisted he was actually a troll who’d killed the deranged night elf. He tried to prove it by saying that a ghost couldn’t have killed a night elf. For a ghost he wasn’t very smart!

I think he just didn’t realise he was a ghost yet but I’m sure he’ll figure it out eventually. Then again, he is a troll ghost. I’ve never heard anybody talking about any smart trolls! In the meantime, I figured it might be safer to just humour the polter thingie and get back to my mission.

A little while later, I was still filling up my backpack with smelly, body parts when I stumbled upon a shocking sight…

It took a while to collect all that leather but I did it eventually. I turned around and finally noticed a dead Tauren (sadly unskinnable).

By the time I’d taken care of that rude cat and skinned it as well (ha! Take that rude kitty!), I figured I might as well head up to Thunder Bluff for the night instead of trying to make it back to the Village.

At the base of the bluff were several dead Taurens.

I thought about praying for them but decided it was much more practical to rid them of all that change they had on them. It’s not like they’re going to need it and better it go to me than those greedy goblins that have moved into Mulgore. Those goblins wouldn’t even blink an eye at robbing the dead. Disgusting things!

It had gotten dark so I hurried to the nearest elevator thing and hopped on. I quickly wished I hadn’t. They may be fast but why don’t they have walls? And couldn’t they be made out of something a little stronger than some wood and a little rope?

I was so traumatised by the experience, I crawled to the inn and fell asleep straight away. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get a better look at Thunder Bluff.

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