As I left the Thunder Bluff Inn the next morning, I was stopped by the Innkeeper who gave me a note from one of the Druid trainers. Apparently they were pleased with my progress and wanted to teach me a super special druid trick. Pleased with my progress? Either body part collection is trickier than it seems or there’s a shortage of druids right now. Since it was probably the latter, I decided I could afford to wander over at any point. Make them wait a little! Thunder Bluff was a big city and I’d never been there. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a look around the place.

One of the first things I discovered was the bank. I went in to open a bank account and just have a look around…

Since I didn’t actually have anything to put into my brand new bank account just yet, I figured it might be time to pay my respects to the High Chieftain.

After running up and down Thunder Bluff’s version of stairs several times (which cured my fear of those elevators!), I finally found Cairne Bloodhoof.

Respects be damned! After running up and down those “stairs” so many times I had only one thing to say to my High Chieftain.

He said he’d take it into consideration but I was escorted away by the guards before I could offer any other suggestions. Something tells me he’s not going to do anything about installing more elevators. Why should he care anyway? I’ll bet he hasn’t left his tent since Thunder Bluff was built!

It was probably about time to head over to see what that Druid trainer was going to teach me now. After a bit more hunting around Thunder Bluff I found out where the Druid trainers were hiding. I was interested to see that the huge tent they were in had all sorts of wall hangings with stories on them. Well, I was interested until I read one. One was definitely enough for me!

Little did I know that the worst wasn’t over yet.

This trainer rattled on for a while about how proud he was and what an honour it was to be a druid until finally he got to the point. He wasn’t going to show me the super special druid trick yet. There were all sorts of people I had to talk to first and trips I had to make and all sorts of other potentially annoying stuff. The first was to a place called Moonglade.

This did not sound promising. Still, a super special secret druid trick is a super special secret druid trick so I cast the spell that would apparently take me to this Moonglade place.

I was supposed to find another trainer who’d tell me what to do next. When I finally found him I realised my day wasn’t likely to get any better…

The elf’s lip was starting to quiver and his eyes were filling up with tears so I agreed to do whatever it was he wanted me to do just so he wouldn’t bawl at me. You know how male elves are! They’re always blubbering over every little thing. You can tell who wears the pants in an elf marriage!

The elf recovered from his hurt feelings enough to send me off to talk to some tame bear, or the spirit of a circus bear, or something like that. Either way it was big, ugly, smelly, and just as sappy as the elf.

After my chat with the bear, I was packed off back to Thunder Bluff. Unfortunately nobody had bothered to come with a spell to get you back from Sappyglade so I had to fly back.

One incredibly long flight back and I was back in Thunder Bluff.

Another excruciating monologue about the joys of being a druid then I was patted on the head, given some sort of dust and told to sprinkle it on a rock near the barrens. I took the dust and fled before he started reciting poetry.

Turns out that dust made the rock glow all pink which was kind of nice until a giant owl showed up.

I dimly remembered the trainer mentioning something about owls so I figured I had to kill it. It didn’t really take that long to kill the thing (it’s a giant owl, how tough could it have been anyway?) but for some reason it decided to haunt me after I killed it. Bit over sensitive these owls. I mean, it attacked me! It’s not my fault I had to kill it.

We just stared at each other for a while before I remembered something else the trainer had said. Something about a moonkin and asking it to check me out or something.

I figured it was worth a shot - I really didn’t want to have a giant owl haunting me for the rest of my life. Might be kind of fun at parties but mostly it’d probably be annoying.

I give up! If I needed to be good at poetry I would have been born an elf!

It worked! I rushed back to Thunder Bluff to find out what the super special secret druid trick was.

I cast the spell and whamo! I was a bear. It was all very exciting until I realised there was one slight problem…

Mr Sappy Tauren Druid nearly fell over himself apologising for giving me the wrong spell but regretted to inform me that once I used it the spell was now bound to me and now I’d always be a male bear when I shapeshifted into bear form and there really was nothing he could do. So sorry.

Sorry my big furry behind! I swear I saw him smirking as I left the tent. That’s it! No more super special secret druid tricks for this bear!

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