This was a post in a roleplay thread started by a character named Velda. Velda was (or perhaps still is since I haven’t played WoW for some time) a female dwarf and one of her distinctive traits (one of many in fact) was that everytime she said a word that started with “W” she would replace it with a “V”. The roleplay thread in question was her new personal ad and love advice column and the various posts in this thread were very, very funny. Unfortunately I think that thread is long gone but I happened across the reply I wrote so I’ll include it here with the rest of my salvaged Kerylyn stories.

Name: Kerylyn Sweetlips (me married name was Sillsweep but it’s hardly the name for an adventurer now is it?)

Occupation: Hunter, Adventurer, Seamstress & Trogg-killer Extraordinaire

Hobbies and Interests:
In me early days of adventuring I made quite of a hobby out of killin’ troggs but there be no so many troggs in the human lands where I’ve been getting all me work of late. So fer now me hobbies are limited to exploring through strange woods fer treasure & nasty monsters to kill, collecting reams o’ cloth in preparation fer when I open me dress shop, and window shopping in the Auction House (I’ve been warned to start saving me copper early fer when I can purchase me Ram). Lately I’ve also become interested in solving mysteries. It’s amazing what dark, sordid tales people are hiding!

Vhat are you looking for in a partner?
Well, me ex-husband was a big, handsome, hairy dwarf but no so bright, ye know? What I really need is a lad with a bit more brains who can match me sparkling wit. Handsome though, definitely needs to be handsome. There’s no point in having a smart man on yer arm when ye can’t look at him when he’s talking to ye fer fear ye might lose yer lunch! So I suppose I’m looking fer a handsome, intelligent, adventurous man who can keep up with me as I explore the world, right wrongs and seek out new dress patterns.

Vhat is your charm point?
Do ye mean me best feature? If that’s what ye be meaning, lass, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to answer this question very well. I’ve just got so many amazing qualities I don’t know where to start! Let’s see, if I had to pick one I’d probably have to pick me lips. It’s me name after all and I’ve often been told how sweet they look. Let me tell ye, lads, they are indeed!

Vhat is your weak point for your heart?
Presents o’course! What lass doesn’t want presents from her admirers?

Vhat do you consider a romantic evening?
Well there’s a lovely little restaurant in Redridge, just before the herbalist’s house, that I’ve always thought looked very romantic. A nice dinner and some drinks there, a trip to Stormwind to look in the art gallery and a nice romantic walk through the park, then back to me house fer some… more talking, yes err… more talking!

Do you have any question about love for Velda?
I’ve never been short of admirers meself so I don’t think I’m really in need of any advice. I will ask a general sort of a question though: What’s yer thoughts on inter-racial relationships? Humans and elves don’t seem so bad but I have a tough time imagining a gnome and an elf making it as a couple, ye know? Actually, gnome and any other race come to think of it!

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