I’ve changed my mind: I don’t want to learn how to knit. It sucks, I hate it, knitting has defeated me. If only I could go back in time, find the person who invented knitting and stop them from ever picking up two sticks and some string!

Many moons ago (my birthday probably) Mum & Dad got me a "how to knit" kit and a big ball of wool (or is it yarn? who knows?) because I’d said often enough that now that I’m living in a colder climate I really should learn how to knit. Seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea and my grandmother had taught me a little when I was young after all. Arthritis stopped her knitting almost completely not long after she’d taught me a few basics and it was so long ago that I’ve forgotten most of it. But still, I’d learnt once and surely I could learn again.

Apparently not. The instructions came complete with diagrams that made me quite cross-eyed, and the written directions weren’t much better. So after a few attempts, with each one leaving me crankier than the last, I finally turned to YouTube for assistance which helped me at least master the slip knot. No, I’ve never had occasion to make a slip knot before except, presumably, for the last time I learnt how to knit.

Encouraged by how quickly I got the slip knot down, I turned to the next step: casting on. Found another great little video and, much swearing later, thought I’d worked out how to do it and was feeling quite proud of myself. That is until I looked at the video again and saw I was doing one step the wrong way. Trouble was when I did it the way the video said to all I got was a big mess.

Clearly knitting > me.

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